"Racial" Memories

I'm back a few days later with an additional association. The bunch of us stood there imagining non-committed sex with the tiniest of our classmates. There was nothing wrong with Deb as a female, but she was not the cutest, the prettiest, the most beautiful, the most audacious, the best hung ... What she was was the most petite. Compared to Deb, the most average of us was nevertheless a giant. And I'll bet there's something common to most if not all of us that responds to, is stimulated by, discrepancies in size between male and female. As a kid I watched my guppies mate. The female was the size of a zeppelin compared to the scrawny males. You look at our cousins - other primate apes - and there's quite a range of size differentiation between the genders. The male chimp is much more massive than the female chimp.

Male baboons are grotesquely larger than any female in their harem. The silverback gorilla is decisively bigger than his mates. Only with Homo sapiens are the sizes similar: the male is generally larger, taller, more massive, but not by much: here and there opposites prevail: the female is the "same": or the female is larger ... When I catch a big bass I know for sure I've got a female. Sure enough: she may be full of roe too. The females dwarf the males. But in most primate cases, the male gets a genetic head start in being physically dominant.


Anton is more than a bit bigger than Yelena. Nice. (And extra helpful since he's got to lift her.)

Now: consider this. In human DNA there are long strings of code for colorful wings such as butterflies have! Way at the base of "Einstein's" brain, there was gray matter little different than for that of a reptile. Nature may evolve, this species may become more complex than that, things may differentiate, but nature also seldom throws anything away. Humans moved visibly, dramatically toward (not to, toward) "equality"; but there we were: a bunch of immature males, fantasizing about dramatic physical dominance. John was imagining fucking her as though she were a hand puppet: right after Lenny had announced his dominating fantasy in which he places his viscous scrotum on her cooperating hand.

And then we all go vote and say we're "equal." (And then we all go to church and say we're "Christian."

Note: Sized by Gender:

I've mentioned without yet detailing much one of the most disastrous of my relationships. Jeano promised to "take care of" me while I wrote my first novel.
I actually tried to discuss scientific ideas with her, treating her, initially, as a peer, however little educated. One evening in the motor home on Hilton Head Island, the sounds of the rigging slapping against the masts of our neighbors' moored yachts, right there on the Intracoastal, we watched TV: PBS: Richard Leakey. He showed chimp behavior where estrus was visible for all to see. The female chimp's vulva was swollen hugely red. She'd go up to one male, stick her snatch under his nose, get fucked, go onto the next ... fucking every male in the group in turn. Afterward Jeano said she liked the part with the mother and the child. What? What mother? What child? ... Ohhh: her mind couldn't absorb fucking when she saw it. For physically dominant male copulating with tiny female, she substituted physically dominant female cuddling tiny infant.

But there: that's another example of physical dominance.

Mother & Child
by Durga Bernhard

The mother is even bigger than the infant is than the male gorilla is bigger than the female gorilla. A mother cuddling her child swallows that child even more than Anton above was swallowing Yelena within his protective embrace. Why, by the way, does that beautful skater look so soulful? They're being interviewed about cheating by the Olympic judges! Their integrity as "champions" has been called into question.

And further note: Christian:

I and the pals I was standing among would soon constitute the main "white" clique: white collar white clique, that is. "Half" the class, including Debbie, as I believe I've mentioned, were Jewish. But Jews have Jewish fantasies about who and what they are just as do Christians: and Americans, and Harvard people, and "the Chinese" ...

Of course I fantasize too: rather boldly at my regular domain, under my actual name. I've never said I don't. But: some fantasies correspond with facts a lot better than others. If true facts could ever be established short of Judgment Day, I'm confident that mine will pan out much beyond the average. Otherwise, we'll just have to wait: till infinite time "ends": ha ha.